"Why Poetry Antimatters" Is the Anticlimax

Dodds-and-Tierney took their dog-and-pony show to the Ottawa Writers' Festival and were best in show by their own standards.

We provided the "master" and Mr. David O'Meara provided the "class" in our masterclass entitled: Why Poetry Antimatters: Metaphor, Entanglement and Particle Poetics. Tierney's frightmare was double your pleasure--the Q&A revealed not one but two particle physicists in the crowd.

Dodds was a lycanthrope of metaphor, a Frankenlager of poetic process, snapping off one-liners like a strongman ringing the bell at a carnival. Tierney was happy to sound smart without necessarily being so. O'Meara was banana smoothie as host and whipsmart with the mike.

We sold books. We got SWAG. We hotelled with our new Writers' Festival bags.

And just like that. Beery goodbyes.

Falling in Love on the Train / Is Like Drying Your Clothes in the Rain

Vancouver, which is as far west as these two Choos are going, was a refreshing climatic change. It definitely put the spring back in us two chickens, despite our clearly failing health. There was a good turnout at the Short Line Reading series, held at the Railway Club. Did somebody plan this thematic synchronicity? Evan?

The folks at Memewar put together a scintillating evening. Writers, if you are going to Vancouver, attending and or reading at one of their events is a must-do. Dodds-N-Tierney were accompanied by the fabulous Chris Ewart (Miss Lamp, Coach House Books).

Earlier that day we had been interviewed by Paul G_____ at CBC. Tierney was phenomenally huge, Dodds was hugely phenomenal. The CBC staff fired their staplers in the air to commemorate our leaving the premises.

We stayed at the lovely Adrienne Gruber’s home (This Is the Nightmare, Thistledown) and were serenaded nightly by Ginsberg. He brought us closer together, but cats can do that.

It was awesome sad to leave that fine town, but Our Nation’s Capital had summoned us to her bosom. And who were Dodds and Tierney not to heed her claxon call. Ottawa’s Writers Festival, HO!

Dodds & Tierney Throw Hissy Fit Over Word Detrain and Refuse to Detrain

The train docked at the Edmonton Trainport at 7:42:03 am. Dodds and Tierney took a chatty cabby to Edmonton’s epicentre and decabbed. Dodds and Tierney checked in, elevatored, room-keyed, zonked out, woke up, met and gret and re-gretted nothing.

Poetry Tour Name Dropping:

Jacob S_____, Liz B_____, David O’_____, Laisha R_____, Marita D_____, Leonard C_____, Gregory Sco_____.

Edmonton Poetry Festival Hijinks:

Reading Survivor style. Simulcast headliners makes for polyfurcated audiences. Readings were accompanied by aggressive percussive espresso machines and screams of joyeaux coffee sippers. D_____ Barbour and S_____ Scobie salted the proceedings with voice box bleats. What tweets! They stole the show. We retreated to the R_____ & C_____ to sup on fresh ale and chicken fingers [sic]. Nerve-ended the eve with bourbon and pizza [sick].

Next day, showdown ho down no mo’ throw down at the Artery, shazam! Walked down Jasper Ave. to the venue. Limited menu. Munched on butterless popcorn. Listened to the gothic berm, power outage, sensitive electrical panel, plaid skirt, tic-talk -- here’s the a-hum moment – Chernobyl.

 

The Hugh Jackman Way to Travel

Song-and-Dance men Dodds and Tierney supped late on empanadas and cheese cake. All provided courtesy of Brenda and Kim Ward, whose lovely home set the stage on which we stuffed our yaps while looking out at the Saskatchewan river winding by.

Meanwhile a laptop charged near-by.

The Wards live 30 minutes from the train station. Time tumble-weeded by. Suddenly, it was time to say goodbye. Dodds and Tierney did. Halfway to the station Dodds’s laptop, umbilicaled to a socket in the Ward’s abode, sent Dodds a telepathic note to self: Wake me up before you go go! 

Thank god we had 15 minutes to drive the half-hour drive.

Random Adamantium Thoughts:

How many demerit points for going 126km/hr in a 50 zone? 

I don’t want to die just to go to Edmonton. But I’m willing to die for the poetry tour. 

Which one of the two would Dodds choose to be: Thelma or Louise? 

Fishtailing down the wrong way, parallel to the tracks, we had to crank the van into a cruller before curbjumping: Just drive over it, just drive over it, from the lovely Miss Hancock, who darted from a half-open van door to try and hold our choo-choo. (If Charmaine asks, none of this happened.)

We slept like curdled milk on our coach seats on the overnight to Edmonton city. The choo-choo’s blowhole blowing its own horn the whole damn way. 

Interview with a Cheshire

For today’s blog, Dodds and Tierney have cornered a cagey audience member from last night’s poetry reading at Saskatoon’s McNally Robinson. The lovely Brecken Rose Hancock. 

D&T: How did we look?

BRH: Cowlicked.

D&T: We noticed that some people were having trouble coping with the euphoria. In your opinion, how do you think they survived?

BRH: People were clutching their chakras for dear life. I also noticed some were finger-tapping their wrists’ acupoints to combat vertigo.

D&T: Numerous fans who follow this blog have been asking after advanced copies of the topless calendar we have planned for 2010. Which of us do you think should feature in the month of July?

BRH: You know, I really have a lot to do today. How much longer will this interview take?

D&T: We’ll ask the questions, thank you very much. What are the chances of Dodds and Tierney bettering their reading in Edmonton? We’ll give you some multiple choice options to make it easier:

a)     2 to 1.

b)     Highly likely.

c)     Highly likely.

d)     c)

BRH: I really enjoyed Taylor Leedahl’s reading.

D&T: Thank you for your generous responses and for 3 days of tacos.

The Dodds and Tierney poetry train pulls out of Saskatoon for Edmonton tonight at 10:47pm. Come wave your white handkerchiefs on the platform to show your support for poetry.

Not East

Firstly and foremostly we’d like to say a few things about our accommodations. In Winnipeg we were graciously put up in the home of Chase Ward and Meghan Flanagan. Those two made our entry into the West smooth despite our homesicknesses (four days and counting).  

Here in Saskatoon we have been housed in the home of Kim Hancock. Last night was taco night with a bonus leftover taco night tonight. Charmaine is on the record saying that she is happy that Matthew will be tacoed out before returning to Toronto.

Tonight is the night. We read at McNally Robinson (19:30 Mountain Time) with Taylor Leedahl. We predicted on CBC yesterday that there would be a huge crowd tonight. We have yet to be wrong.

Poetry Tour Prognostication: Dodds and Tierney will read to over capacitated crowd in Saskatoon. 

Two Vehicles Hotwired During our Stay in Saskatoon.

ICE CREAM RUN

20 MIN JOYRIDE

Would You Ask Tom Waits That Question?

First full day in Saskatoon? Saskatoon, right?

Overnight on the train--no, wait. 11 hours through pure Canadian daylight. Tierney got to drive the train because he was wearing an engineer's hat. Dodds is pantless in this photo.

We just finished an interview at CBC Saskatchewan. Nailed it.